On the way

Coming soon; me finally getting my shit together AND, my own website!

It's my birthday!

I love birthdays, even my own.

Stitches

The other day I went out to look for some new clothes.  Now, I dislike shopping, I'd even go so far as to say i hate it.  Hate is a strong word but man, shopping is a drag... unless I'm out hunting art supplies, then it's wonderful.

I'm at the point where i NEED to shop though, all of my clothes are literally falling apart.  Every time i put a shirt on I seem to find a hole, my jeans (that don't already have holes in the knees) are thinning at a mad pace.  Even my socks look up at me when I put them on and ask why they haven't been put out of their misery yet.

So yes, I went out the other day to spend some Christmas monies I generously received.  What I was greeted with was bland, lifeless, boring cloth bits trying to pass themselves off to me as what I wanted to occupy my closet with.  What happened to colour?  Bold, vivacious, lovely colour?  Why is everything shades of grey, dark blue, black, and beige?  I don't think I've ever yawned so much.  Even if there was a splash of colour it was muted so much I could feel the embarrassment of the fabric in my fingertips as i held it for 4 seconds, contemplating its worth before putting it back on the rack.  Even the cuts and styles were drab and boring, so la dee dah and "but everyone is wearing it darling".  I'm beginning to realize I'm not "everyone".  The main spark that generally sets me out to poach the perfect outfit is an image or idea in my head of what I'd like to find in the fashion desert/jungle. Oddly enough I never do find what my mind has created for me.  What's the deal with that?

I'm thinking I need to learn how to sew, like every other woman in my fam.  I'm surrounded by fantacular ladies who know their way around a bobbin yet i remain a dunce on the subject .  I spent my childhood summers pulling pins out of my feet in my grandparents Florida apartment (my sister & I slept in our Grandmas sewing room) and I think I need to put those metaphorical pins to use.   It's the only way I'll ever be able to manifest what my mind thinks is right for me.  My (dream) creations won't be some crazy new design, they'll pretty much be based on a solid 1920's foundation.  My wardrobe demands these basics;

* colour

* sparkle

* comfort

* shy sexiness

* swish

* fun

* imagination

* wonderment

* personality

* ribbon(s)

* me

With those basics sewn into reality I will accessorize with loose, broad, storytelling jewellery.  Lots of bangles that jingle about as I sip champagne...like my Grandma.  

Amuse Bouche

 You know my last post, about buying red lipstick?  Well that got me chatting with my friend Maria-Therese who also just started glamming in red.  She said "why don't people decorate their lips with motifs etc?" This got us into a little project, a lip art documentary project.  We're both artists so why not use our own faces as a canvas, or parts of our faces anyway.  The lips are such a sensual part of a woman's face and lend a small but lovely space for decoration.  It's another play in being BOLD!

This is my first attempt at creating lip art on myself (see one of Maria-Therese's here.  *side note* aren't her eyes simply gorgeous?!?!!)

My mind is a flutter with ideas, I've never been a make-up girl but i'm now longing to supply myself with a palette of palpable colours.

Another aid in my exploration of me, this project will help with my self portrait plan. It gives me a reason to take photos of myself.

Towards Bold

I bought red lipstick.  Going from nothing more than lip balm or gloss, just to keep my lips nice and soft, this was a bright shock when I first smoothed it on.  I've gotta say, red lipstick is tricky to put on, it's very noticeable when it goes beyond the lip line and ends up looking rather clown like.  When I tried to get the clownish spillover off a slight ghost remained in a faint pinky stain. I worked away at it, managed to get rid of the haunting and ended up with a more romantic, and much less foolish look. A type of whimsical heart shape appeared.

The other day the idea popped into my head that I wanted to buy a bright res lipstick.  I'm not sure where it came from, i never wear lipstick.  I'm thinking it's all a part of my subconscious's plan to be more bold, to be willing to stand out a bit more instead of hiding in the background.  Essentially be more "me", be more of the person I feel is floating around inside myself bumping into walls and getting tangled in the brambles I've put up for some reason. 

In another move to clear cut the inner tangles and get used to seeing my "self" I'm going to play with self-portraiture more.  I always hate pictures of myself, I'd rather be behind the camera.  Another way of being in the background you see.

Should be fun.  Experimental. Opening.

Play

Above is the first painting i started in this new year of 2012.  It's drying.  It will be drying for a while.  I'm loving oils but i get restless waiting for them to dry.

I dove into the gorgeous oil set Damian gifted to me at Christmas and just played, fought the voices telling me I should have something in mind before i started, the voices that tried to control the brush and palette knife.  Many times I heard "you know that's total crap right?" and often I found myself believing it, yet i continued on.  I had to kindly say, out loud, to my inner critic "screw off!"  I mean what does it know anyway?  It's just a spectral thought, it doesn't even exist on a tangible plain yet it feels it can control me.  It's like a bully really, just power tripping, probably compensating for something it feels its lacking.  I know i'll continue battling with it, but I'm pretty sure I'll kick its ass.

I left the painting, as it looks above, and went downstairs to watch a movie with Damian.  When I came up to go to bed I peeked in on it to show it to D.  I liked it.  I just needed to see it with fresh eyes.  Amanda 1, inner critic 0.

I'm not sure what will happen next on it, it's an adventure waiting to happen... once the first layer is dry.

This is it 2012. You're mine!

I figured I should do at least one more post on my neglected blog before the year is up.  This is said post.

I'm ringing in 2012 with positive thoughts that hinge on freedom.  Yes, this year is going to be my year, it has to be now that I've put it in writing.  I spent 2011 working away at my artistic voice, playing in paint daubs and mess making.  I discovered a menagerie of dialects but I know that I still have further work to do in order to become fully audible to myself and the world outside of my studio.

There was success this year in my exploration, in my taking of chances.  I took my first solo trip to meet up with a group of women I'd never met before to immerse myself in creating a "letting go" .  I spent three days with someone I've admired for a long time, someone who has inspired me to do what I love.  Taking part in one of her workshops has always been something I wanted to do.  I think 2011 gave me that, the kick in the ass to go for it.  Maybe 2012 is the year I put it all into play and finally get on with LIVING.  Living BRAVE.

I really shouldn't use the word maybe when trying to define this new year, which will arrive in one hour.  maybe never got anyone very far.  it's all about intent.  2012 IS the year i put it all into play, it's the year I quit my job.  There, I said it, wrote it.  Now i have to quit my job or i'll look like a sucker, like a pushover.  It's time to take more chances.  My brother-in-law is starting again, going back to school for something he has always loved and that inspires me.  As the cliche but ever so true saying goes, life is short.

I've layered on 3 fabulous earthy/witchy scents* to create an eclectic blend on my skin, something magical to float into the new year on.  I'm also sharing a beautiful bottle of champagne with my darling love, Damian, and our dear friend, Rob.  This bottle was gifted to us and to be honest, there's a second one waiting in the wings for midnight.  Again, a generous gift (from Rob himself).  I like to think that two gifted bottles of sexy bubbles is a good sign for what's to come in the twenty twelve.

I look with great forward to February of the new year as it holds a visit from across the world.  My wondrous Dad and Mom will be flying (how magical that sounds) from Australia for a visit.  It's always  so fabulous when we all get together.  I'm very grateful for such a fabulous family, for all four of my parents to get along so well.  There is a lot of laughter in my family, laughter and easy going spirit.

I tried to note down my top moments of twenty eleven but found it hard to think all the way back through the months, sadly.  Perhaps this new year I will jot them down as they happen.  As I get older I have to rely on pen to paper more than simple remembering.  Geez, i'm only going to be 35 this year... how can i be forgetting already?  Let's chalk that up to having a day job, i like to blame all negatives on having a day job.

A quick list of "tops":

~ purchasing my solo trip to PEI
~ the birth of my niece, Emily
~ my nephew, Sean's, first birthday
~ the Titanic canoe incident in PEI (i've never laughed so hard while the prospect of drowning in the sea loomed overhead)
~ winning a second place award in the first juried show I'd ever entered.  Also the first time I ever publicly showed my solo work.
~ Damian's faith in me and my work.  He surprised me with a bottle of Veuve after the awards reception.  He knew all along I would win something.
~ wandering and collecting along the shores of PEI, breathing in the salt air of difference.  I knew this trip would affect me.

I just know there are more.  I will have to leave it here though as midnight is in half of an hour now and I want to get some paint down before 2011 ends.  I want to combine two years worth of work into one piece *wink*

Here's to dreaming and making dreams come true.  I wish the best for all I love and know, for all who's eyes meet mine on the street in this coming year.  Twenty twelve might just be it if you believe the prophecies.  Make it count.

xoxoxo

* scents created by the ever magically fabulous For Strange Women.