Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Say "YES" to everything!

Group Bloom

You know the scene in The Grinch Who Stole Christmas where his heart grows & grows until it's so big it breaks right through the whimsical gold frame that surrounds it? That heart bursting bigness feels SO good! I’m not saying i’m a grinch, by all means, but before I left for Prince Edward Island a couple months ago there were definitely things weighing my heart down.

I had never travelled by myself before, let alone travelled to meet up with a group of people I had never met. This was the first “yes” i said. This “yes” got me there. 

As I climbed the air stairs (oh, how that makes travel so much more exciting) up to the awaiting plane, as i said good morning to the steward, as i walked that familiar narrow aisle to find my seat, as i shimmied in and sat by the little window i felt it, i felt that first bursting tingle of excitement. I was beginning my journey. How befitting it was to start a dream adventure in clouds.

Somewhere between Toronto and Prince Edward Island, thousands of feet above land, I gave myself a rule to follow. Say yes to everything. I did not want to come home with regrets, with “i wish i had of...” I’ve done that before, held back, and it sucks (for lack of a more eloquent word)! After all it was “yes” that got me into the faux leather seat i was sitting in. I was about to do something I had always wanted to do, about to explore another piece of my own country, about to spend some time with me as me.

(Oh no, the shameful dot dot dot)  Somewhere between the period at the end of the above paragraph and right now I’ve realized this is very hard to put into words for some reason, to be completely honest. I can usually re-tell a moment but this one is eluding me. It’s been eluding me for 2 months! Why can’t i put this experience into writing? Maybe it was simply a trip for me and to surround it with typed adjectives wouldn’t do it the true justice it deserves. Perhaps I’m supposed to keep it in my heart and memory as is. I thought on the plane home “this will make for some good writing” but damn, ever since I got back i’ve been spending a lot more time in my head, thinking, wondering, dreaming, plotting, wishing. So I guess it makes sense, even the writ word is in my head.

Alas, I can’t hold up my blog any longer so this is it, the first post. Not as impressive as i had imagined but hey, that’s what makes it real i guess.  Before a few photos take the place of the well spun words i hoped for I would like to make some notes in the metaphorical margin. Notes that whisper of what i discovered, learned, flew away with, treasured, and loved. 

~ collect, accept, and appreciate bruises

~ forget fear or accept it as a challenging step towards new

~ red roads. broken clam shells.

~ magic (life, living, being) is infectious

~ say “yes!”

~ canoeing

~ expanding heart. letting it all in and realizing 

~ true magic is in the process, in the experiencing, in the doing and being

~ Sabrina is one of those people who seems to attract magic. a spark of life, colour, love, authenticity, and being. She brings those bits & pieces out in the people around her.

~ normal life hard to get back to as it was. change a must!

Ultimately i long for more days like the ones I spent on the East Coast of Canada with a group of eight kindred spirits. Thank you to all of you, for the spilling and laughing at the dinner table, the messy painted hands, running like wild women under that quiet black sky (collecting fresh cut grass on our bare feet), and everything else on and between the lines. Farewell was an open ending. xoxoxo

beach installation by Christina & I

inside our studio, the 1930's dance hall

pieces drying in the sun

red dirt girl

The Highlands

beautiful beach mandala by Virginia

waiting with the tragic canoe

my workspace

1 comment:

D. said...

Hey darling! Nice new site.
I wouldn't worry that you can't find the right words for your trip. Its hard to describe the "undescribable"! With such a memorable experience, I don't think words would ever do it justice!