This is it 2012. You're mine!

I figured I should do at least one more post on my neglected blog before the year is up.  This is said post.

I'm ringing in 2012 with positive thoughts that hinge on freedom.  Yes, this year is going to be my year, it has to be now that I've put it in writing.  I spent 2011 working away at my artistic voice, playing in paint daubs and mess making.  I discovered a menagerie of dialects but I know that I still have further work to do in order to become fully audible to myself and the world outside of my studio.

There was success this year in my exploration, in my taking of chances.  I took my first solo trip to meet up with a group of women I'd never met before to immerse myself in creating a "letting go" .  I spent three days with someone I've admired for a long time, someone who has inspired me to do what I love.  Taking part in one of her workshops has always been something I wanted to do.  I think 2011 gave me that, the kick in the ass to go for it.  Maybe 2012 is the year I put it all into play and finally get on with LIVING.  Living BRAVE.

I really shouldn't use the word maybe when trying to define this new year, which will arrive in one hour.  maybe never got anyone very far.  it's all about intent.  2012 IS the year i put it all into play, it's the year I quit my job.  There, I said it, wrote it.  Now i have to quit my job or i'll look like a sucker, like a pushover.  It's time to take more chances.  My brother-in-law is starting again, going back to school for something he has always loved and that inspires me.  As the cliche but ever so true saying goes, life is short.

I've layered on 3 fabulous earthy/witchy scents* to create an eclectic blend on my skin, something magical to float into the new year on.  I'm also sharing a beautiful bottle of champagne with my darling love, Damian, and our dear friend, Rob.  This bottle was gifted to us and to be honest, there's a second one waiting in the wings for midnight.  Again, a generous gift (from Rob himself).  I like to think that two gifted bottles of sexy bubbles is a good sign for what's to come in the twenty twelve.

I look with great forward to February of the new year as it holds a visit from across the world.  My wondrous Dad and Mom will be flying (how magical that sounds) from Australia for a visit.  It's always  so fabulous when we all get together.  I'm very grateful for such a fabulous family, for all four of my parents to get along so well.  There is a lot of laughter in my family, laughter and easy going spirit.

I tried to note down my top moments of twenty eleven but found it hard to think all the way back through the months, sadly.  Perhaps this new year I will jot them down as they happen.  As I get older I have to rely on pen to paper more than simple remembering.  Geez, i'm only going to be 35 this year... how can i be forgetting already?  Let's chalk that up to having a day job, i like to blame all negatives on having a day job.

A quick list of "tops":

~ purchasing my solo trip to PEI
~ the birth of my niece, Emily
~ my nephew, Sean's, first birthday
~ the Titanic canoe incident in PEI (i've never laughed so hard while the prospect of drowning in the sea loomed overhead)
~ winning a second place award in the first juried show I'd ever entered.  Also the first time I ever publicly showed my solo work.
~ Damian's faith in me and my work.  He surprised me with a bottle of Veuve after the awards reception.  He knew all along I would win something.
~ wandering and collecting along the shores of PEI, breathing in the salt air of difference.  I knew this trip would affect me.

I just know there are more.  I will have to leave it here though as midnight is in half of an hour now and I want to get some paint down before 2011 ends.  I want to combine two years worth of work into one piece *wink*

Here's to dreaming and making dreams come true.  I wish the best for all I love and know, for all who's eyes meet mine on the street in this coming year.  Twenty twelve might just be it if you believe the prophecies.  Make it count.

xoxoxo

* scents created by the ever magically fabulous For Strange Women.

Spooks & Cinders

Dear October,

I'm loving your atmosphere, as usual.  You and your pendulous skies have me thinking of ghosts and their stories.  It's hauntingly cozy and smells of burned embers.

Thank you,
Amanda

Chill. Flame. Cinnamon

October finally came back to me.  It's my favourite month, along with December.  I know i'm probably the only one (besides my Damian who also favours the chilly months) but oh how i love to hunker down and bundle up in coziness.

Autumn/Winter are my "summer", the seasons i like to be outside in, the seasons i would prefer to take my vacation time.  I feel more alive when i can see my breath in front of me, when the chill bites down through my skin and into my bones forcing me to wrap myself in my own bundled arms.

I work much better when it's cold and find myself in my studio more than in summer.  A pot of tea sitting next to my paintbrushes, my window open to let a breeze and the scent of earth in, and my trusty orange hoody with the hole in the elbow keeping me warm.

Yesterday was only October 2nd, the proper chilly weather had just begun and yet it took me no time at all to blanket my house in the scent of cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger.  Damian and I jumped at the chance to build a raging fire in our old wood stove.

I love atmosphere and there's so much much of it once the mist, dark clouds, and colour roll in.

Whoopie!

 

I made these delicious beasts for a friends birthday last weekend. Chocolate whoopie pies with salted caramel filling, from scratch (the best way!) 

They were nice and moist and the filling was happily light, airy, salty, sweet and awesome (with enough left over to daub on top if desired).  They were fun to make too, the kitchen smelled like a carnival.  Now i'll have to play around with different fillings.

A "cool" way to see through heat

i recently purchased a new pair of spectacles... at the grocery store.  it was one of those impulse buys, one of those things you find hanging in the soup aisle of all places.  it made no sense to me to sell spectacles with cream of broccoli but i couldn't resist.  perhaps the placement oddity was part of my desire to acquire them.

these new devices of seeing are divinely perfect on a raging hot day.   you simply put them upon your face, place one end in a vessel containing a cool drink and the other in your mouth.  as you suck the liquid upwards a cooling sensation loops itself around your eyes and across your forehead, ahhh, such relief.

I figured it would be high class to enjoy a glass of pinot grigio this way. gorgeous. take me home and impress your Mum!

Jungle Bathing & Passion

Urban Jungle handmade soap by Future Primitive  

I just received the most AMAZING soap in the mail, seriously, this is what all of those mass produced crap soaps wish they could be.  there is nothing like handmade soap, trust me.  you know what's in it, it smells like magic, it softens & soothes the skin, and more often than not you buy it from the person who created it.  What could be better?

Tiggy is a true artist in so many ways.  She loves what she does, it's obvious the moment you open your package.  Just look at the beauty of the soap, the layers of colour are magnificent!  I'm in love.  She even has her very own branded parchment to wrap it in!  To think she does every bit of it... the researching, the experimenting, the creating, the marketing, the packaging, the shipping..... i'm drawn to people like this.  It's hard work but it's passion that keeps it going strong.  I find that true passion is a rarity these days which makes Tiggy's products that much more special.  

Genuine love for what one creates is felt by those who view, feel, experience it.  You can see through false attempt, heart is so important in creation, creating something you yourself love.  I had a drama teacher in high school who said to us during a dress rehearsal "do you see that lampshade there? it's slightly tilted.  the human eye will always be drawn to what is wrong".  This is so true, sadly, human nature tends to focus on the negative.  The positive to this negative is that when we stumble upon something truly heart/soulful we know it and it resonates, we know it's honest and rooted in love.

Here's to supporting the passion of others and creating our own self belonging!  Root yourself in true.

Sometimes you need to go to Paris for lunch

It's Thursday which means a longer drive home.  We live up north near cottage country, Thursday is when the cottagers start their exodus from the city.  These little darling treats should help pretty up the gridlock for us... as long as they don't melt first, we've got no AC! 

No AC means tangled hair and the odd wasp landing on your lap but i love an open window.  no matter how much it hurts as i try to comb the knots even Houdini would find challenging, i will always choose open window to air conditioning.

Much thanks to Maria-Therese for the macaron craving :)

music & edges

thoughts while a painting dries:

1. oh how i love and need music, i can't do anything without music it would seem (i'm such a Pisces).  while painting i need just the right aura of sound around me. sometimes while working i'll feel "off", like it just doesn't feel right somehow. Often the cure to this feeling is a switch in music.  when i land on the right notes the air changes, the moment begins to feel right.  that happened tonight.  often i like to put on a 1920's radio station and skip around my canvas with nostalgia for a past life (i'm SO convinced i used to live there, it's another post altogether).  tonight that didn't fit.  i scrolled through my library and fell on adorable and poetic Joanna Newsom and then... then there was synergy!  *side thought* - do you ever combine pieces of people you are inspired by and paper doll them into someone you would like to be when you grow up?  Joanna is definitely a piece of my paper.

2. you know how i said i was waiting for a painting to dry?  i'm actually waiting for three edges to dry so i can paint the fourth.  as i was painting over the bits of colour that spilled over i wondered "why do i cover this up?"  i love those run over bits, they show the process.  if i were buying a painting i would want to see that, the process, i love the "behind the scenes" bits.  i guess i've convinced myself that painting it over in a nice solid colour (in this case it's white) makes it more "sellable", like most people would like to purchase something that looked absolutely finished.  is that bad?  i'm sort of torn there, now that i've analyzed it.  well, i'll finish these edges since i started but for future pieces..... we'll see.

I think it's dry.

Say "YES" to everything!

Group Bloom

You know the scene in The Grinch Who Stole Christmas where his heart grows & grows until it's so big it breaks right through the whimsical gold frame that surrounds it? That heart bursting bigness feels SO good! I’m not saying i’m a grinch, by all means, but before I left for Prince Edward Island a couple months ago there were definitely things weighing my heart down.

I had never travelled by myself before, let alone travelled to meet up with a group of people I had never met. This was the first “yes” i said. This “yes” got me there. 

As I climbed the air stairs (oh, how that makes travel so much more exciting) up to the awaiting plane, as i said good morning to the steward, as i walked that familiar narrow aisle to find my seat, as i shimmied in and sat by the little window i felt it, i felt that first bursting tingle of excitement. I was beginning my journey. How befitting it was to start a dream adventure in clouds.

Somewhere between Toronto and Prince Edward Island, thousands of feet above land, I gave myself a rule to follow. Say yes to everything. I did not want to come home with regrets, with “i wish i had of...” I’ve done that before, held back, and it sucks (for lack of a more eloquent word)! After all it was “yes” that got me into the faux leather seat i was sitting in. I was about to do something I had always wanted to do, about to explore another piece of my own country, about to spend some time with me as me.

......................................................................

(Oh no, the shameful dot dot dot)  Somewhere between the period at the end of the above paragraph and right now I’ve realized this is very hard to put into words for some reason, to be completely honest. I can usually re-tell a moment but this one is eluding me. It’s been eluding me for 2 months! Why can’t i put this experience into writing? Maybe it was simply a trip for me and to surround it with typed adjectives wouldn’t do it the true justice it deserves. Perhaps I’m supposed to keep it in my heart and memory as is. I thought on the plane home “this will make for some good writing” but damn, ever since I got back i’ve been spending a lot more time in my head, thinking, wondering, dreaming, plotting, wishing. So I guess it makes sense, even the writ word is in my head.

Alas, I can’t hold up my blog any longer so this is it, the first post. Not as impressive as i had imagined but hey, that’s what makes it real i guess.  Before a few photos take the place of the well spun words i hoped for I would like to make some notes in the metaphorical margin. Notes that whisper of what i discovered, learned, flew away with, treasured, and loved. 

~ collect, accept, and appreciate bruises

~ forget fear or accept it as a challenging step towards new

~ red roads. broken clam shells.

~ magic (life, living, being) is infectious

~ say “yes!”

~ canoeing

~ expanding heart. letting it all in and realizing 

~ true magic is in the process, in the experiencing, in the doing and being

~ Sabrina is one of those people who seems to attract magic. a spark of life, colour, love, authenticity, and being. She brings those bits & pieces out in the people around her.

~ normal life hard to get back to as it was. change a must!

Ultimately i long for more days like the ones I spent on the East Coast of Canada with a group of eight kindred spirits. Thank you to all of you, for the spilling and laughing at the dinner table, the messy painted hands, running like wild women under that quiet black sky (collecting fresh cut grass on our bare feet), and everything else on and between the lines. Farewell was an open ending. xoxoxo

beach installation by Christina & I

inside our studio, the 1930's dance hall

pieces drying in the sun

red dirt girl

The Highlands

beautiful beach mandala by Virginia

waiting with the tragic canoe

my workspace

A bookmark, an appetizer

PEI beach

I wanted my first post to be about the recent adventure i took to PEI but, i'm still digesting it and finding the words.  so for now i will put this little placeholder here, a little mossy green & red rocked nugget.  i didn't want my blog to catch a draft in it's utter nakedness.

I will return with the "official" first post when my choppy, fragmented, mental sentences become smooth paragraphs in type.

Incidentally, welcome to the written version of Flying Whale!